My very first introduction to self-development began when I was 15, when I wanted to become a professional horse rider. At the time, I was also an avid reader and used to devour books. As I did so, I came across this American woman, Jane Savoie, who wrote a book about ‘That Winning Feeling’. Like many Olympic athletes, she had overcome incredible odds and had beaten the best at their game.
 
On one occasion, she was hospital-bound in the weeks leading up to an international event and she needed to ensure, that somehow, she could get herself and her horse, up to par. Normally, event preparation involves a fine-tuning of all the miniscule movements.  This is highly important as it ensures that the horse responds at the exact time that it is required to.  Since she could not be in the saddle at the time, she instead relied on vivid visualisation techniques, where she generated the feelings of fluidity, balance and poise. The result was, that these techniques worked, and despite the setback, she and her horse were successful.
 
While I never became a successful competitor, I was intrigued and decided to look into this mindset concept a little further.  As I discovered, this wasn’t her original idea, and that the concept actually came from a plastic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz (author of Psycho Cybernetics). Maltz observed interesting reactions by people who had come to him for plastic surgery and found that:

• Sometimes people felt better after 'fixing' their imperfections, i.e their self-image was restored after the problem was removed; but 
• Others did not feel better after 'fixing' their imperfections. They continued to see themselves as imperfect based on that body part or found other issues and anomalies which required attention.

 
It was at this point that I realised that the way we feel is a choice, irrespective of the external circumstances. In this world, there are people who choose to fix their imperfections and still find other issues to resolve, while others that acknowledge that they aren't perfect. 
 
Now (over 15 years later), I've also realised that gratitude and acceptance of where we are at, is more important than fixing, seeking to tweak, or conceal any perceived physical, mental or emotional imperfections we may have. 
 
Sure, we could all be a little fitter, more accepting, more patient, more focused or more relaxed, but what would happen if we cut ourselves a little bit of slack, and just let ourselves be human and imperfect?
 
Being accepting of ourselves at this moment, gives us a much greater chance of accepting ourselves in the next moment, irrespective of what kind of day, week, or a decade we have. It keeps us even-keeled when we soar to great heights and when things go spectacularly well. And it also keeps us grounded and stable when things go pear shaped. 
 
One of the key components of my 6-week online course Crisis to Connection is acceptance, and I can show you how to be kinder to yourself, irrespective of your circumstances. 
 
This week, I'm really excited to also launch a second version of my course, which is
 designed specifically for former emergency service employees. All the details can be found here: 

At the moment Marie Kondo's book the  The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up appears to be all the rage.  While some people might argue that it the need to declutter is  limited to over-consumers and materialistic people, I disagree. People who spend their funds wisely can also benefit from a clear out whether it be spiritual, emotional or physical.

I'm not a huge spender, I don't mind getting books and some clothes on Ebay instead of brand new, and I hate throwing perfectly useful things away for the sake of it. I've been known to repair a beloved backpack that I've had for 15 years even though there are a multitude of options out there with heaps more gadgets. Simple works for me. 

But, I also notice a huge difference in mindset when my home is light,  airy, tidy and vacuumed (who knew that the trusty old vacuum cleaner was so powerful!). Similarly, I also notice I am more likely to feel grumpy, frustrated and overwhelmed when my car has paperwork (that should be in a filing cabinet) still under the seat, sand from the beach and a light coating of dust on the dashboard. 

Thankfully, there is a quick-fix option which can help. 

Whenever I take the time to physically clean, dust and sort out my sh*t, and interesting thing happens. The mind clutter dissipates, I can think clearly and usually some unresolved issue comes up to be addressed.

The most striking example of this was a few years ago when a situation had been brewing with a friend. For weeks I'd been mulling over how to best communicate my needs without hurting their feelings but still felt restless, undecided about how to go forward and frustrated. As it happened, that day I also decided to clean my car thoroughly. I cleaned inside and out, scrubbed the tyres, wiped down the insides of the doors, put away anything that didn't belong.  I felt good! Next thing I knew that friend called. I had the chance to voice my thoughts and the situation was resolved once and for all. 

Since that day, I've observed the changes each time I do a thorough clean of my desk, my computer, my car or my home and more often than not, something has shifted, changed, evolved or been resolved.

Clearing things out can be good for any part of your life you feel is stuck, stagnant, or in need of  shake up. In her powerful book Calling in the One, Katherine Woodward Thomas speaks highly about the metaphysical consequences of creating space for a new relationship. She recommends giving or throwing away any gifts and momentos of previous relationships, emptying or creating a few drawers in your bedroom cupboard, and creating time in your life which can be left free and open for a relationship. It doesn't all have to be hippy-hippy-woo-woo. On a very practical level, how keen would you be on someone who had their ex's photos tucked away in corner, every room in the house overflowing with their belongings and was too busy working to schedule in a date night ?

But it doesn't have to all be about relationships. Doing a clear out might be about going to your garage or storage shed and finally letting go of high school momentos which could be linking you unnecessarily to the past or outgrown dreams., It could involve throwing away a gift from a family member who never had your best interests at heart in the first place, or getting all the business invoices and receipts from your car and filing them away for tax time. 

In the same way that your friends can reflect your relationship with yourself, so too do your belongings.

By aiming to only keep things that support your happiness, bring you joy  or make your life easier (yes, this includes tax receipts) in some way you are opening yourself up to focus only on the positive and nourishing aspects of your life and continuing to receive more of the same.

What do you choose to value or let go of today?

For more self-care and nourishing tips, sign up to my blog on the right to receive  directly in your inbox.
For a serious dose of self love in 2016 sign up for my 6 week online Crisis  to Connection Course. For more details click here

​​Sometimes when we are going through a time of stress or crisis we can forget to be grown ups and look after our most basic needs such as water and food.

Those weeks where it seems like I have too much to do, I look up my favourite go to recipes for a good dose of fruit and vegetables, which in turn sustains me for my week ahead.
 
Today’s recipes are my absolute favourite nourishing meals that can be whipped up cheaply and quickly and can be sure to give me the nutritional boost I need.
 
Broccoli, cashew and lime soup
 
This is a recipe originally posted on a vegan website years ago but still remains the top of my list. I’m not a huge fan of broccoli but the creamy smoothness of cashews and the lift of the lime really makes this dish!
 
Serves 4
Takes 20-30 minutes
 
Ingredients
4 heaped cups of broccoli heads –
4 cups of silverbeet (greens only)
2 cloves of garlic
1 large potato
2 sticks of celery
1 cup of cashews (soaked overnight)
3 cups of chicken stock
zest and juice of one lime
salt and pepper to taste
 
Method
Soak cashews for at least 2 hours but ideally overnight. Chop up broccoli, potatoes, garlic, celery into small pieces Put in stock Boil up, put on simmer and then cover with a lid until veges are soft (at least 15 minutes) Whizz up all the ingredients Add the cashews, and whizz some more Add in zest and juice of the lime and stir in and add salt and pepper to taste.  
Nutritional benefits: broccoli and silverbeet give you a greens boost which in turn gives your body the much needed phytonutrients to help your body counter day to day stressors.
 
 
Breakfast boost – healthy pikelets
 
Makes a batch of 12
Takes 10 minutes
Tip: make mixture the night before 
 
Ingredients:
1 whole egg
3 egg whites
½ banana
1 tablespoon of dissiccated coconut
1 tablespoon of almond meal
a pinch of cinnamon
 
Method
Blend all ingredients together
Cook in coconut oil in a frypan on medium heat
Top with microwaved frozen berries, other half of the banana and natural yogurt.
 
Nutritional benefits
This is a great gluten free grounding protein hit to start your day off. The berries provide you with an antioxidant boost and the banana is full of soothing magnesium.  
 
For more information on how nutrition can effect our state of mind and resilience you can sign up to my 6 week online course Crisis to Connection where we can delve deeper into food choices and alternatives.
 
 

 
 
 
 
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