To get the year off to a good start, this week I wanted to share a curated selection of the most influential books I have read that have changed my perspective for the better during times of stress. In some way or another each of these books has shaped my world view, given me hope, skills or insight that I hadn't come across before in the hope that it reaches you too.

If life is treating you well right now, feel free to archive this email for a rainy day, but if things could be improved, these are 6 good ones to explore if you are looking to change your perspective or viewpoints about your current circumstances. 

The topics that these books cover include:

• communication skills, for all conflicts
• mind-body connection 
• clear, practical advice for choosing happiness
• the power of our thoughts, and how we can change them
• how yoga, or any other spiritual practice, can help us manage turbulent times
• challenging times, from the perspective 

Non-Violent Communication, by Marshall Rosenthal. The best book I have ever read which looks at conflict through the lense of self-awareness. While it has been applied in a broad range of contexts including schools, prisons, businesses and even warzones, it is equally applicable to day-to-day relationships that require more honesty, and courage to share your voice.

You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay. Louise Hay's bestseller was groundbreaking when it was first released in 1984 at the height of the AIDS crisis in the US. In addition to sharing the skills and tools that she has applied in her on practice, she shares her personal journey of overcoming a range of adversity (including sexual trauma) and reaching ongoing health and happiness in ways that were previously unattainable. She also has compiled one of the most comprehensive list of physical ailments, the triggering thought processes and the corresponding affirmations to address nearly any condition under the sun which can be a useful starting point for any self-enquiry.

Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials, by Stephanie Dowrick. Stephanie is an Australian psychotherapist and best-selling author of 5 books. I love this book because it has hundreds of different self-awareness exercises and nuggets of wisdom, each with their own page. This is the type of book you can flick through when you need some inspiration, and find it. 

Psycho-cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz. I've mentioned this book before on the blog, but this was the very first mind-over-matter book I crossed paths with as a 16 year old. This book first introduced the concept that whatever is happening to us and creating us pain and suffering, is simply a question of perception. As a plastic surgeon he observed how people's perceptions of themselves could either be radically altered (or not) through cosmetic surgery, and went on to find out more about why some people's lives changed radically after a much wanted nose-job. Excellent food for thought.

Bringing Yoga to Life, by Donna Farhi. Donna Farhi is an influential New Zealand based yoga teacher who's gentle teachings brought kindness back into my own self-care routines. She speaks highly of having a ritual to maintain and the benefits of embedding this practices when things are going smoothly (i.e before a crisis emerges). She strongly subscribes to the view that life will always have it's challenges, and being able impartially observe these, without subscribing to the drama is truly the way to acheiving a happy life.

Many Lives, Many Masters, by Brian Weiss. This book shares the experiences of Weiss, a hypnotherapist and psychotherapist, conducting a series past life regressions one of her clients. I found this one particularly helpful when facing grief, shame or confusion about complex interpersonal dynamics that aren't easily explained by conventional means. His client's anxiety and depression gradually decreased as layers of past lives were uncovered and resolved. A great one for anyone interested in past life connections. 

Hopefully one or two of the titles has piqued your interest or correlates with something you might be wanting to address right now, or may be use to someone close to you.

As always, I'd be really interested to hear your feedback, and would love to hear your recommendations for books that have uplifted you before so that it can be shared with The Third Way facebook community as well.

This week's blog is about the importance of having the right people around you and the clarity of hindsight, and a call to follow your own instincts.

Have you ever made an unpopular decision that you still recognise as the right one for you? Or, have you ever felt strangely confused about a decision you've made that only made sense in retrospect?

I have, and it has only become clear years later.

A few months ago I was updating my LinkedIn profile, and noticed that one of my favourite work colleagues had taken the leap and stepped out to follow her natural talents by developing her own business as a consultant. I remember sitting in front on my laptop feeling so excited for her, and the possibilities for all her potential clients, because she had a such a natural gift of facilitating. I could nearly hear our laughter from the times we shared an office and when we used to go out for after work drinks.

I immediately sent a contact request and sent her a text message asking her whether she was free on the weekend for a chat. I didn't hear back for about a week, and was shocked to receive quite a terse response back, letting me know that she would prefer only to stay in contact over LinkedIn. At first, I was surprised by the response, and then I remembered...despite me feeling such a deep respect for her energy, her honesty and who she was, I had forgotten that many years earlier things had ended abruptly. 

A few days later I went through my emails, to try and piece together the details of our last interactions. As it turns out, I had left the conversation open-ended, because we had differing views about how a friendship should operate. 

Back then, I was overly drained from a complex romantic relationship, had been reliving earlier traumas in my life within my workplace and had withdrawn from all but a few very close and compassionate people in an effort to create a safe cocoon for myself to heal.

At that time, she felt that I was ignoring the opportunity for growth by not being honest to her about what was happening, and believed that a friendship was characterised by people telling each other the "harsh realities" and "weaknesses" of a person, as it was key to her growth as an individual. 

Back then, even though I didn't realise it, I knew deeply and intuitively what was going to be best for me.

• I knew that I had to be selective about the people I chose to share my story with;
• I knew I needed to break the pattern of revealing too much of myself to people who didn't respect my story as well as my capacity to learn and evolve of my own accord; and
• I knew that I needed to be listening to wiser, more gentle and less-controlling words of wisdom.

It was a funny feeling, being transported back to a place where I could see how much I had grown. I remembered my former guilt of not sharing enough with her, and the fear of not being the friend she wanted me to be.

Yet, looking back, I can wholeheartedly see myself with compassion, and how right that decision was for me then. Obviously blocking people out regularly isn't a way forward, and there were grains of truth in her conversation with me. But, in the review of that situation, I still back myself 100%. More than ever, I recognise that I was doing my best with the information at the time and how critical it was to choose the right audience for my story. 

I still haven't written back to her yet because I feel like it would only reinforce the differences in our views. I'm sad that this I am in a position to share what had happened, and how deeply affected I was back then, but when I asked myself: Is it in my best interest to share this part of my story? I still said no. 

Perhaps there is a time that the conversation can close, and perhaps it's best for a time when we can meet in person but in the meantime, I'm keeping that door ajar but not wide open. 

From the conversations I've had recently, there are many stories of people feeling guilt and shame around their capacity (or lack thereof) to share their experiences with others. Just know that it is safe to be selective about who has the honour of hearing your story until you find the right tribe to share it with.

I'd love to hear about your own experiences with this so please feel free to comment on the Third Way Facebook page or email me directly at india(at)thirdway(dot)com(dot)au.

If you have been following me for a while now, you will know that I am passionate about offering real, well-informed and genuine support to emergency service workers. I am passionate about this because I know how damaging and unhelpful "support" can be when those around you:

• cannot hold the space safely;
• pre-emptively offer blanket advice:
• tell you to "take responsibility" by directly (or passively) blaming you for circumstances outside your control.

To see how effective REAL support can be, take a few moments to watch Huffington Post video Fear, Anger and PTSD: Inside the mind of a man after war. Not only does James openly share his thought process but his wife Kirsty, shares her perspective as a mother and wife. Her response paves the way for us all to "hold space" in a loving but 100% accountable way.

If you someone working in emergency services, a partner or friend this video could be the most important video you have seen in your life. The courage of both these individuals is absolutely awe-inspiring. 

James and Kirsty are currently on tour with Put Your Hand Up and will be in Sydney next Friday at the Dee Why RSL. If you can make it, I'd love to chat to you. I'll be there with The Third Way information, and my kinesiology skills to share to those who are ready to explore real, meaningful and solid support. I will also be at their Melbourne event on the 2nd December as well. 

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This week's blog is about the similarities between footballers and emergency service workers. 

Even though I have always disliked the extent to which Australian society reveres football (of all codes), last weekend I found myself watching the NRL semi-final. For some reason I found myself concentrating a little harder and for the first time saw the power and athleticism of these athletes.

I would watch tackle after tackle, and see how their physique would withstand incredible impact. Impact that would pretty much obliterate the average human being. 

I got to thinking about the preparation that they undertake, and the level of strength they work towards to ensure that their spines, ligaments, tendons, necks and limbs stay relatively intact despite less than ideal conditions.

It highlighted to me that it's not so much the task at hand that determines the outcome of high stress environments. It's the thoroughness of the preparation.

And this level of preparation is required, but appears to be lacking in the emergency services. Recently I had a conversation with a police officer about the preparation that first year constables undertake before they start out on the road. He said that they don't really get much. I asked him whether additional training would help. His response was "you can have all the chats about how other people deal with situations until the cows come home, but you don't really know how you are going to react, to any situation, until you are there." 

Sheesh!

I can see where he is coming from, but I disagree. I think that while there is an unknown element to many parts of policing, there is a known element, and that is that shit will get hard, and there will be some jobs that will touch you more deeply than others.

In the same way that footballers learn from the very beginning that strength, fitness and flexibility are critical to the longevity of their career; for emergency service workers physical and emotional preparation, connection and openness  is integral to the longevity of theirs.  

If you or someone you know could benefit from exploring these concepts in a safe, confidential and supportive environment, the Crisis to Connection course is for you. 

My online course helps you discover all the key components of your repeatable wellness formula and prepares you for the times that knock you down. To find out more, you can read all about the course here or contact me by replying to this email. 

Not ready yet but want to know more? I'm hosting a FREE Nutrition for Emergency Service workers webinar with Brisbane naturopath Carolyn Woodfield. We'll be covering some important ways to improve your concentration, stamina and resilience through the power of nutrition. The event will be held at 2pm AEST on Monday 17th October. You will have the opportunity to ask questions of us and if you can't make it, just sign up here and we'll send you a recording after the event.

Other news, I'll be joining James and Kirsty Greenshields from the Resilient Leaders Foundation on their national Put Your Hand Up tour. James is a former Army Major who has been to the bottom with PTSD and made it back up. I'll be joining them in Cairns, Sydney and Melbourne over the next couple of months. More details will be released in the coming weeks.

Feel free to come over and 'Like'  The Third Way Facebook page. Share your thoughts and comments with the growing community over there.
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"Police PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and suicide has recently gained significant media attention over the last six months. This year Victoria Police alone has faced four too many police officer suicides. However in May 2016 Chief Commissioner Graham Ashton released thorough assessment into the service through the Victoria Police Mental Health Review (‘the Review’); which offered thirty-nine recommendations, ranging from short-term action steps to larger-scale longer term goals. This article shares my perspective as a police employee of the findings, and likely ripple effects that will be experienced both within the organisation and into the wider community should police wellbeing be treated as a priority.
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Today's post focusses on some key points raised in the recent Four Corners report.

Last week Four Corners aired the report, "Insult to Injury" , about police Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the additional difficulties that these individuals face when seeking legitimate financial compensation for the injuries they have acquired through the course of their duties.

To me this re-iterated the layered complexity of emergency service welfare, return to work and compensation systems and the need for effective preventative options so that the best officers can stay in the job and entirely avoid that path altogether. ​

Today's post is about what we can do to stop drama in its tracks through the power of our choices.

​Note: This does not apply to trauma, it applies rather to the inconveniences that life such as a disagreement with a friend, missing an important meeting due to traffic, disappointing someone or facing a career setback. I'm referring to life events which we have the opportunity to manage our emotions to see things in a more forgiving, open-minded or positive light.

In her book, Bringing Yoga to Life, Donna Farhi reminded me of the old quote: "change is the only constant". She was referring to this in context of her yoga practice and her life, and the more that my own path unfolds the more it rings true for me too. Good and bad things happen in life to all of us, but whenever life seems to be overwhelmingly difficult, somewhere, and somehow, it gets easier again. ​