How to stop drama in its tracks

Today's post is about what we can do to stop drama in its tracks through the power of our choices.

​Note: This does not apply to trauma, it applies rather to the inconveniences that life such as a disagreement with a friend, missing an important meeting due to traffic, disappointing someone or facing a career setback. I'm referring to life events which we have the opportunity to manage our emotions to see things in a more forgiving, open-minded or positive light.

In her book, Bringing Yoga to Life, Donna Farhi reminded me of the old quote: "change is the only constant". She was referring to this in context of her yoga practice and her life, and the more that my own path unfolds the more it rings true for me too. Good and bad things happen in life to all of us, but whenever life seems to be overwhelmingly difficult, somewhere, and somehow, it gets easier again. ​

 
Acknowledging that the bad situation has a beginning, middle and end, is one simple reframe that can help us keep that momentum of positivity a little longer to push through the discomfort until brighter times emerge a bit further down the road. 
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Another way to think of the situation is treating it like a rebellious child. This situation (or child) is playing up mischievously, perhaps stealing something (our happiness) and cheekily darting off with our precious goods (our joy). Knowing that the cheeky child will tire out eventually, also allows us to see the discomfort or pain as an interruption to the peacefulness of our lives, rather than the constant theme of our lives.

Of course, the tricky times require patience and a certain mental restraint to acknowledge the discomfort, pay less attention to our stories and simultaneously choose to see things as they are with some faith that once the little drama is over (or the cheekiness peters out) calm will be restored.

This advice does not relate universally to all traumatic events, but rather aims to define the lines between a traumatic response to something that is a trigger, and taking control of the aspects of our lives that aren’t governed by that response. Gaining control of the rest of our lives trains our brains to seek out acceptance and compassion for ourselves which then trains our minds progressively to be less reactive over time.

Note: If you know you having trouble letting go, are consistently angry, disappointed consider it may be a deeper issue than having a bad day. Taking steps to explore our deeper feelings and underlying beliefs as well as their origins can be the powerful first step to achieving greater peace.
 
Ways to uncover your deeper thoughts and feelings to achieve greater distance to the traumatic event(s) include:

• Spending time journaling about the facts around a event and your emotions about it and the impact you feel it had on your life.
• Regularly meditate to learn to separate your thoughts from your Self, learn to become more perceptive around the small changes that occur in life
• See a professional who has a good understanding of trauma (EMDR, somatic therapy have been known to deliver better results than traditional talk-therapy or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
• Have a kinesiology session
• Undertake a self awareness course such as the Crisis to Connection course here

 
Benefits of unpacking these beliefs are the following:

• A greater self awareness, understanding and compassion
• Lower reactivity to other stressors.
• Greater mental and physical health.It is important to be mindful the impact of these feelings can have on our physical health and wellbeing. One poignant example I remember from my kinesiology training is that research from the Heartmath Institute's research showed that the physiological impacts of 5 minutes of anger take 8 hours to dissipate.