Today I was prompted to write about my observations about wellness and self care behaviour when life gets tricky. Years ago I used to think that it was my own character flaws which would mean that I'd be better at looking after myself when life was good and significantly worse when life was hard. But later, I came to the realisation that it was simply our nature to hibernate as we get overwhelmed. While it isn't ideal, gaining that understanding about this has given me comfort when I wasn't motivated to go to yoga AND meditate AND exercise AND not drink coffee AND drink a green smoothie AND cook a nourishing meal AND spend time in nature.
Let me explain.
If you are a relatively sensible person who has the most basic interest in your wellness then I'm sure you already now the basics about what you should be doing to look after yourself. Eat well, do exercise, sleep regular hours, you know the drill.....
Let me explain.
If you are a relatively sensible person who has the most basic interest in your wellness then I'm sure you already now the basics about what you should be doing to look after yourself. Eat well, do exercise, sleep regular hours, you know the drill.....
Further to this, if you have suffered an illness or if you’ve ever witnessed or been through some form of trauma before, chances are you already have a good understanding of what other things you need to do to support yourself and you may have already started to look at your lifestyle and behaviour patterns to see whether there is anything else you could be doing.
I’m happy with that, and I wouldn’t want to teach old dogs new tricks. However, I have noticed a particular pattern that transpires when life gets a bit tricky.
I’ve noticed that we tend to take care of ourselves less during the times we need to care for ourselves the most. This seems to apply to all people, even those who should know self-care best - health and wellness professionals included.
Often adrenaline kicks in (whether it is the fear of actually losing our marbles, or the fear of missing a deadline, or your friends hen’s weekend) and there is a surge of “I will do this” when, really, we need to take a step back.
One of the benefits of paying for wellness is the unbiased perspective on our situation. If they are good at their job they will gently remind us of the things we know ourselves already, and keep us on track.
They will remind us of the kindness and compassion we can forget to offer to ourselves. It is true, often we already know what we need, but every once in a while we require someone to reframe our needs and desires in a different way.
In addition to this, bringing in external sources to assist you in times of stress can also benefit all your relationships. It can shift the dynamic of your closest partnerships to a more balanced and positive one, particularly if one person is always in the role of ‘the rock’. It allows us to grow and expand in our own, and reach a new sense of awareness about ourselves, external from that relationship as well.
Experiencing support from another avenue doesn’t have to take away from the stability of your closest relationships but can instead ease the pressure and allow new connections and insights to form without the oversight of our significant other.
My 6 week online course, Crisis to Connection, offers a holistic for people who feel like they could use some additional support to achieve their wellness goals, particularly in the face of a significant stressful event. Together we can keep you on track and truly realise how much self-care can keep us resilient and effective.
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